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Welcome to 2010 my friend! Through the bumps and the tears and the laughter and the beers we have clawed our way, tooth and nail, frail of body and shaky in spirit, into the next decade. Each of us has had our own rocky path to navigate, our own challenges to overcome but here we are. While not exactly waving flags in triumph and dancing the rumba in victory over whatever sledgehammer pies-in-the-face life throws at us, at least we are still limping onward.
Last night, I spent a comfortable New Years Eve with a few friends in a little old house in Tennessee. Ten years ago, who could have predicted such a thing? You never know do you? While I was never much for “Auld Lang Syne,” I am prone to a little reflection at the turning of the year.
Snort! Prone to reflection hell! Memories have been slapping my big white ass all around the Tennessee hills lately. All vivid and shiny they have been, full of tastes and smells and places and faces. I thought for a while, I was of that age when you remember more details about something that happened many moons ago than you do about the breakfast you ate this morning. Who knows, I may be of that age. We’ll see when the day passes. I seem to recall chewing on a banana and Quaker Oatmeal Squares (with a hint of brown sugar) this morning but who knows?
A mere ten years ago, I was living in quiet desperation in Calgary at 15 Ranchglen Drive in a nice house I had owned since 1990, married to a nice, simple woman. I had a nice job, money in my pocket, good friends… and I was bored to tears. I longed to explode into the world, to escape the bonds of a ho-hum existence and experience a more fulfilling life.
Mid-life crisis? Maybe. As self-centered as it sounds, I needed… NEEDED to escape, of that there is no question. It turned out that this crisis was a wake-up call and while the mid-life crisis is viewed as a negative with pot-bellied balding men wanting hot cars and fast women, sometimes it is a voice of reason asking what the hell you are doing with your life and is this all you want out of it. Do not dismiss that voice out-of-hand. Warning - following the advice of that voice is not for the weak but I am here to tell you, I listened to it and... wow.
The intervening years have found my pot-bellied balding brim overflowing. Separation and divorce was pure but truly justified pain. Living in the Big Smoke as an editor and the dear and splendid friends I made while I was there, the healing wonder of the lands I have seen and the people I have met in the months I spent traveling, the exhilaration of going back to school and developing the skills that have made my new life possible, the challenge of running a business, the joy of finding new love, the petty annoyance of those damned kidney stones, the frustration and rewards of moving to the Holy Roman/American Empire and starting a new career within a new culture within a new relationship within a new life.
This last decade has alternately wrenched and touched my heart until I’m not sure I can find the sucker.
But still, it beats. I hear it now and then thumping to me in the night from an undisclosed location.
As this New Year approached and the memories slapped me around, I often saw your face (one of the sweeter slaps). I wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and my heart and I wish you more joy and happiness than you can possibly stand.
And oh yes, more adventure!
From one beating heart to another with affection, admiration and love.
The view that greeted me the morning of Sunday, January 31 after the winter storm of aught-ten that rolled through the South. Sleet, rain, snow, then repeat. Temperature currently just below freezing. Treacherous driving, especially with Southerners on the road who do not have much experience on this stuff. Treacherous walking too. Snow is crusty, ice is just underneath. Pretty though, if you don't have to go anywhere. Schools should be closed for days.
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